Transparency Tuesday: Crushed

I've been told other young women can benefit from my story. There are times when I'm trying to figure out what is my story. I do know I have thoughts in my head. Keeping the baggage to myself isn't helping me or healthy. So I'll share my thoughts so I can free my mind and possibly help someone else.

Crushed is what I become when my mind wanders to the past. My past two boyfriends broke up with me. The next thing you know their girlfriends are pregnant and then they're married. Now the first of the two wasn't such a bad situation we both had moved on. It just stung a little. Like wow didn't we talk about marriage? But hey we were in high school so it's whatever lol. But that second one is what really crushed me. How easy was it for you to replace me and give her what I wanted? So I guess we didn't mean anything? Was I that sassy? Was I that bad? Was I super rude? Too caring? Intimidating? Ugly? Too dark? Too short? Like what was it?

Pulling Back to Push Forward

January 2, 2014 - My boyfriend for the past 2.5 years broke up with me.

January 6, 2014 - I started a new semester of school taking 15 credit hours in order to keep my scholarship. Within this semester I joined two new organizations and my work hours per week for my on campus job went from 10 to 20.

Summer 2014 - I was a Peer Counselor for incoming freshmen taking summer classes.

August 24, 2014 - My ex-boyfriend tells me he's beginning a new relationship. It's been like a love triangle since we broke up in January. I had been trying to "win him back" for months.

August 25, 2014 - Another 15 credit hour semester begins. This was my first season working with the football team. Might I add we had a game the first week of school. Of course practices start during the summer. Matter of fact within a week of finishing the summer counseling program I began working with the team. My campus job transferred me to another location and I began working the evening shift 10 hours a week after practices.

January 2, 2015 - I received a text about my ex being married. I had just found out after Christmas that his girlfriend was pregnant.

A Letter to My FAMU Self

Hey y'all I've been doing lots of reflecting lately. From time to time I'll be sharing these thoughts and revelations from God. In the meantime please read "A Letter to My FAMU Self."

I wrote it my junior year at the request of my classmate Gladys. It's purpose was to reflect over the past few years of college and give advice to the freshman me. As I prepare for graduation that's quickly approaching I reflect over this letter. My counselor suggested I write a letter to myself as a reminder of what actions work when I become overwhelmed. My original letter still helps but I'll write another one. This is a great activity.  It's a great way to keep faith and stay encouraged.

P.S. Check out Gladys' website Get Livted (IG: getlivted)

A Letter to My FAMU Self

     Congratulations you made it to FAMU. You’ve been waiting your entire life to attend this prestigious university. Making the Dean’s list is no issue for you. But I also can tell that there is something in you. You have so much potential inside of you. Now it’s time to let it out.
      Girl have confidence in yourself. Do not doubt yourself. Make decisions for yourself. College is about finding out who you are. You can and you will break the mold. You are going through a metamorphosis.
     Sweetheart why are you sitting in the room? Get out and network. You need to make a lasting impression. You may know them but honey do they know you? Remember the first impression is a lasting impression. So take pride in your appearance. No wrinkles, face beat, and hair laid. So spend the extra time ironing clothes. You have beautiful skin so make-up isn’t needed all the time. But it’s okay for you to dabble. And please do something about your hair. Pay someone to do it or learn how to do it yourself. Barter if you have to. The cameras are always lurking. Every day is photo op. It’s time to stock up on your business casual. You want to look the part.
     Continue to grow spiritually. You can still be a Christian and have fun in college. God brought you this far do not drop him when you get to college. This is the time when you can fully experience him by yourself. The responsibility of going to church is all on you now. Mommy and Daddy aren’t here to wake you up for church. You’ll have fun. Trust me.