Transparency Tuesday: Crushed

I've been told other young women can benefit from my story. There are times when I'm trying to figure out what is my story. I do know I have thoughts in my head. Keeping the baggage to myself isn't helping me or healthy. So I'll share my thoughts so I can free my mind and possibly help someone else.

Crushed is what I become when my mind wanders to the past. My past two boyfriends broke up with me. The next thing you know their girlfriends are pregnant and then they're married. Now the first of the two wasn't such a bad situation we both had moved on. It just stung a little. Like wow didn't we talk about marriage? But hey we were in high school so it's whatever lol. But that second one is what really crushed me. How easy was it for you to replace me and give her what I wanted? So I guess we didn't mean anything? Was I that sassy? Was I that bad? Was I super rude? Too caring? Intimidating? Ugly? Too dark? Too short? Like what was it?

I'm the young lady who has desired having her own family for ages!!!

"Forget Love!" I see this so many times on social media. After a heartbreak we're ready to give up on love. I felt like this before. Love is such a vulnerable thing. Sometimes I think I'll become the old lady with cats. Other times I think I'll settled to be married. And not settling for a bum but an abuser! Like I'll get in a relationship just to have someone because I have given up on love. Because the guy senses it, he'll become my abuser. After all something must be wrong with me that good or decent men left me. We live in such a chill generation. Will I settle for a situationship? None of the above!!! God is so awesome. Jesus is love. And Jesus never fails. 

To me giving up on love is giving up on Jesus.

Crushing is what I'm doing now. I now have a crush on a particular young man. I am constantly asking God to guard my heart in the matter. Some may ask do you think this is your husband? Why waste a crush? Right now I'm more focused on change and not results. I Breanna Allyse Rittman after being so crushed now have a crush on someone. This is very monumental for me lol. Don't get me wrong, I am content in my singleness. After all, God is still healing me. He will always be the head of my life. I seek Him in all things. It's just so relieving to have a crush because it's a sign that I am healing. 

While reflecting and reading my Bible I like to think of this as a Job situation. No I'm not perfect. I definitely have my faults. However, I believe these were situations God has allowed me to go through as tests. So when these agonizing thoughts come to mind I begin to speak against them. What the devil meant for my harm, God is using for His glory. I am in a better place than I was this time last year. 

Relax, Relate, Release,

~BreAllyse

Buckle Up for this Journey of Life!!!