A Detour is Not a Dead End

Happy New Year!!! Yes I know it's not the first but it's my first entry of 2016. We usually spend a few days or even weeks in December and January collectively reflecting over the year. It's a time when people make new goals or resolutions. During reflection, we're happy about the goals we accomplished over the year. You may have a goal or two or maybe fifty leven (yes fifty leven lol) that were not accomplished in 2015. Shoot you probably don't have goals completed from 2013. Well you know what?

A detour is not a dead end.

Remember everything works together for the good of those who love the Lord. This doesn't mean everything will be good but everything will work for your good. I want to share a few examples from Genesis. Please bear with me.

Ishmael and Isaac - Even though Abraham and Sarah took matters into their own hands, God's word still proved to be true with the birth of Isaac. God was even able to use the descendants of Ishmael to fulfill another purpose.  Ishmael married a woman from Egypt and was lacking nothing. Now don't go purposely creating Ishmael situations in your life. We don't want to take advantage of God's forgiveness.

Jacob, Leah and Rachael - Not your ideal story. Although when I would watch Love & Hip-Hop (NY and ATL) I would refer to the love triangles as JLR situations. I'm not encouraging being a sidechick or waiting on a married man but we know the JLR story. Despite the detour of her husband marrying her sister first and not being able to bear a son for sometime, Rachael gave birth to Joseph. With the sister wives competition the 12 Tribes of Israel came into place.

Transparency Tuesday: Crushed

I've been told other young women can benefit from my story. There are times when I'm trying to figure out what is my story. I do know I have thoughts in my head. Keeping the baggage to myself isn't helping me or healthy. So I'll share my thoughts so I can free my mind and possibly help someone else.

Crushed is what I become when my mind wanders to the past. My past two boyfriends broke up with me. The next thing you know their girlfriends are pregnant and then they're married. Now the first of the two wasn't such a bad situation we both had moved on. It just stung a little. Like wow didn't we talk about marriage? But hey we were in high school so it's whatever lol. But that second one is what really crushed me. How easy was it for you to replace me and give her what I wanted? So I guess we didn't mean anything? Was I that sassy? Was I that bad? Was I super rude? Too caring? Intimidating? Ugly? Too dark? Too short? Like what was it?

Going Home

Hilton Head Island, SC

Fun fact: I love the sound of water; it is so calming to me. I've wondered why from time to time. Did I have an experience with water? Traveling "home" allowed me to realize being born by water probably had something to do with that lol. (If you don't know what I mean by home check out "Set The Record Straight.") Let's not forget I spent approximately 4 years of my life living on the island of Guam. Hey I am a Navy Brat so water is life lol.

So many of us do certain things not knowing why. Go back "home" and figure out why. Talk to your family and see what generational patterns need to be broken. Look at Rebekkah in the Bible. She was deceitful. Her brother Laban was deceitful. Her son Jacob was deceitful. Her daughter-in-law/niece Rachael was deceitful. They all have great qualities about them but good Lord talk about a generational pattern. After realizing their connections to each other I have wondered about the parents of Rebekkah and Laban.

Not all generational patterns are bad by the way. When you take a trip "home" you just may realize you do or like certain things because of your great-great grandfather. My grandmother ate Mr. Goodbars heavily when she was pregnant with my dad and now he loves the candy and so do I lol. I have an old friend whose mom ate fish a lot when she was pregnant now the result is my friend cannot eat fish or her throat will swell up.  A friend of mine's wife asked him why did he work so much. After having a self-reflection moment, he realized he saw his mom work so much so it was natural for him to work.

Pulling Back to Push Forward

January 2, 2014 - My boyfriend for the past 2.5 years broke up with me.

January 6, 2014 - I started a new semester of school taking 15 credit hours in order to keep my scholarship. Within this semester I joined two new organizations and my work hours per week for my on campus job went from 10 to 20.

Summer 2014 - I was a Peer Counselor for incoming freshmen taking summer classes.

August 24, 2014 - My ex-boyfriend tells me he's beginning a new relationship. It's been like a love triangle since we broke up in January. I had been trying to "win him back" for months.

August 25, 2014 - Another 15 credit hour semester begins. This was my first season working with the football team. Might I add we had a game the first week of school. Of course practices start during the summer. Matter of fact within a week of finishing the summer counseling program I began working with the team. My campus job transferred me to another location and I began working the evening shift 10 hours a week after practices.

January 2, 2015 - I received a text about my ex being married. I had just found out after Christmas that his girlfriend was pregnant.

I Can Do All Things: My Silver Jubilee

So I recently met a young lady who created a 30 Before 30 list for her 29th birthday. She wrote a list of 30 goals she wishes to accomplish by the age of 30. I am working on 25 Before 25. I'm currently 22 years old so I have some time to accomplish the goals on my list. I wrote them down to keep them in my sight. Like Latoya Early says we must "Write the Vision."

Now I'm taking a huge step by sharing my goals on my blog. I chose to share them on the premise of certain scriptures from the Bible; both the Old and New Testament.

Habakkuk 2:2-3 NLT

2 Then the Lord said to me, "Write my answer plainly on tablets, so that a runner can carry the correct message to others. 3 This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.

Matthew 18:19-20 NLT

19 "I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. 20 For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them."

Woo. Just writing the scriptures gave me some motivation to keep pressing forward towards my goals. I ask that you come in agreeance with me as I ask God to help me reach my goals according to His will. Also I'll agree with you as you make your list. Whatever age you choose. I shared my list with my mom and she along with her best friend are going to do a 50 Before 50 list. I'm not going to get myself in trouble by telling you how many years left they have until they're 50. What I found interesting is we have some of the same goals. It shows that no matter the age, people have common interests. So share your goals with others so they can help you and keep you accountable.

 BreAllyse's 25 Before 25

* I decided to write a little blurb explaining why each item is on the list. It's great motivation to keep in mind when I make certain decisions. I think to myself is this helping or hindering my goals. They are listed below in no particular order.

1. Photoshoot with Erick Robinson Photography
 -Erick and I attended middle school together in Quincy, Fl. This young man has amazing talent when it comes to photography. God has blessed him to work with the likes of Tiffany Evans and LisaRaye. Even Nigel Barker from America's Next Top Model has complimented his work. For my 21st birthday I wanted to do a photoshoot with Erick had it planned out and everything but it didn't work out on my end. But as long as both of us have breath in our body and we're mobile I still want this photoshoot. I think a photoshoot just because is a great idea. I'd actually feel very official. And why not support people from your hometown?

2. Buy a car
-It would be so much easier for me to get to church and around the city. I used to want a car for my own selfish desires but now I just want a car so I can serve Jesus and help people serve Jesus by giving them rides to church functions.

3. Get an apartment
- Another selfish desire that turned into wanting to help God's beautiful people. Some people from church hosts potlucks and movie nights. I want to do the same. When family and friends come to visit I want to help save them money from a hotel. Lastly, there have been great angels (my friends and family) in Tallahassee who have allowed me to stay at their place for free. I want to pay it forward. (Yes I'll pay them when I can however I can lol.)

4. Graduate from FAMU
- I love my university but it is time for me to go. FAMU has taught me well and it's time for me to show what I have learned. It's been a long road here at Florida A&M University but I am an overcomer!

5. Go to a Pinky Promise Conference
-Well this one is pretty much settled. I already had a young lady tell me I was going even if she had to pay for me to attend the conference hosted by Heather Lindsey. I was against it for awhile but how am I going to grow if I don't attend anything that will help me grow.

6. Start Graduate School
- I wish to attend Belmont University to study Sports Administration as well as the Art Institute of Tennessee-Nashville to get my diploma in culinary arts. What can I say? I have a thing for sports and food. My friends joke my husband will love me because of my love for sports and food. God has him in waiting somewhere over the rainbow lol.

7. Move to Nashville
- Three things. Music. Food. Sports. Need I say more? Nashville is a beautiful city.

8. Meet Oprah
-I have a collection of O, The Oprah Magazine covers. I wanted to be like Oprah when I was growing up. Now I still have some goals that align with Oprah but I have grown to understand that God has an individual plan for each of us. Growing up the joke was if you appeared on The Oprah Show AND Sesame Street you made it. But The Oprah Show is no more. I still want to meet her of course. I also love that she is an HBCU graduate. Shout out to the Tennessee State University Tigers.

9. Go to an NFL game
-It's football. Enough said. Though I'm a Navy Brat I spent a majority of my time in the South and we know football is very big in the South. Now I rather watch sports in their respective arenas instead of sitting at home on the couch. As I'm writing this I long for the season to start. Some of you know I work with the Rattler Football Team and practice is starting so soon. I'm excited!!! #RealWomenWatchFootball
 
10. Travel Outside of the U.S.
 -Spain and England are at the top of my list. The Cheetah Girls are definitely the reason I want to visit Spain. I would like to see, what I consider, the other melting pot so England is on the list as well. My passport will not be limited to these two locations. How can Africa not be on the list? My beloved Guam is a US Territory. I spent 4 years of my life there and want to go back for a honeymoon and/or vacation. So let the adventures begin.

11. Start the BreAllyse Vlog
-Hey I like to talk. I have to work my way up to a talk show somehow. Since I didn't get interviewed by Oprah on her show hopefully I can interview her on my show.

12. Have a dance recital
-While living in Guam and Washington State, I collectively took ballet, tap, jazz and twirling lessons.When I see others dancing it inspires me to take lessons again. I want to participate in a recital for my family and friends.

13. Learn to swim
-Swimming is a must. I believe my water safety is important.

14. Go to organizations' conferences
-I am heavily involved on campus. My organizations will stick with me until I die. Again how can I grow if I don't attend their conferences and workshops to make me better for life and the organizations. The National Society of Collegiate Scholars, Iota Sweethearts Incorporated, Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc. and the National Association of Black Journalists are just a few of my organizations.

15. Visit Marion, SC
-My mother was able to trace her paternal grandmother's roots all the way to Marion, SC. Before the search we knew we were the Sweets and Carrolls. We found some information about the Sweets. Rev. Gospero Sweet traveled from South Carolina to Gadsden County, Fl. Fun Fact about him, he is the great-great grandfather of Margaret Mitchell, author of Gone with the Wind. What else can I learn about my family?